Tuesday, August 31, 2004

No Way to Run a Campaign - Update

Today I am updating the entries for my post No Way to Run a Campaign for the days Aug. 28th, Aug. 29th, Aug. 30th and Aug. 31st.

Aug. 28th - The Kerry campaign allows itself to fall victim of a prank (my personal favorite)

Aug. 29th - The Kerry campaign is going so poorly - even the Kerry girls get booed.

Aug. 30th - It seems like even the Democratic consultants realize that Kerry's message of "things are bad and have to change" isn't selling.

Aug. 31st - It seems like the Kerry campaign finally acknowledges what has been obvious to most everyone else for a long time and changes in the campaign staffing are in the works.
Miscellaneous Thoughts from Toronto

Up in Toronto on business so my blogging will be light but here are some miscellaneous thoughts.... Mike Mussina complained that his last start in Toronto was delayed by 15 minutes. The game was supposed to start at 2:15 but it didn't get underway until 2:30 because the Blue Jays were honoring one of their announcers who happened to beat brain cancer. Mike Mussina complained about the delay. Mike Mussina is a prick... Saw Rudy Giuliani's speech last night. I thought it was a homerun. The Republicans are wise to focus on the Jewish vote, the Vietnamese vote (9-1 anti-Kerry in a recent California poll) and the so called Reagan Republicans (it was no coincidence Rudy mentioned construction workers last night)... 26 athletes tested positive for banned performance enchancers at the Olympics. None of the 26 were Americans... Has anyone mentioned the possibility that the Red Sox could pass the Yankees and that the Yankees may not make the Wild Card? So let it be written - so let it be done.

Monday, August 30, 2004

Coalition of the Willing Medal Count - FINAL COUNT

Here's the final tally on how the Coalition of the Willing did against the rest of the world:

Coalition of the Willing - 155 Gold, 149 Silver, 163 Bronze

The "Rest" of the World - 146 Gold, 152 Silver, 164 Bronze

Coalition of the Willing - 467 medals (50.3% of all medals)

The "Rest" of the World - 462 medals (49.7% of all medals)

I'll have some analysis of the numbers later in the week

Presidential Odds

Forget the polls - if you want evidence of a Kerry campaign meltdown - look at the betting odds on the Presidential race. President Bush is now a substantial favorite to win re-election. Right now the betting line stands at Bush -$155 and Kerry +$115. (This means that you would have to risk $155 on Bush to win $100 or risk just $100 to win $15 on Kerry.) On Saturday the line jumped to Bush -$145 and Kerry +$105. This is some serious movement in the betting line.

After the DNC - the betting line was dead even at -$120 for both Kerry and Bush (bet $120 to win $100 with $20 vig going to the house). About two weeks ago Bush pulled slighly ahead at -$130 to -$110 for Kerry. This latest line represents a big jump in the odds.

For the record I have been following the odds via off-shore casinos like Bodog.com (scroll to bottom of page) but all of the lines I have checked have been consistent.

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Dead Parrot Redux

John Edwards enters Terry McAuliffe's office with John Kerry in tow.

Edwards: Hello, I wish to register a complaint.

(McAuliffe does not respond.)

Edwards: Hello, Miss?
McAuliffe: What do you mean "miss"?
Edwards: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
McAuliffe: We're closin' for lunch.
Edwards: Never mind that. I wish to complain about this candidate that I got teamed with not two months ago from this very office.
McAuliffe: Oh yes, the, uh, the Boston Blueblood Vietnam Veteran Protester ...What's,uh...What's wrong with him?
Edwards: I'll tell you what's wrong with him. He's politically dead, that's what's wrong with him!
McAuliffe: No, no, he's uh,...he's resting.
Edwards: Look, I know a politically dead candidate when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
McAuliffe: No no he's not politically dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable candidate, the Boston Blueblood Vietnam Veteran Protester. Beautiful to watch when he's wind-surfing!
Edwards: The wind-surfing don't enter into it. He's stone politically dead. And I know stone politically dead because I campaigned against Kucinich.
McAuliffe: No no no no, no, no! He's just resting!
Edwards: All right then, if he's just resting, I'll wake him up! (shouting at Kerry) Hello, Mister War Hero! I've got a lovely story of Halliburton making billions.
McAuliffe: There, he moved!
Edwards: No, he didn't.
McAuliffe: Yes he did!
Edwards: (yelling and hitting Kerry on the arm repeatedly) HELLO JOHNNY!!!!!Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! Jane Fonda's on the phone. Alec Baldwin wants to speak with you. This is your nine o'clock wake-up call!

(Takes Unfit for Duty off McAuliffe's desk and hits Kerry on the head with it.)

Edwards: Now that's what I call a politically dead candidate.
McAuliffe: No, no.....No, he's just stunned!
Edwards: STUNNED?!?
McAuliffe: Yeah! The Swift Boat ads stunned him, just as he was getting his momentum after the DNC! Boston Blueblood Vietnam Veteran Protesters stun easily, John.
Edwards: Um...now look...now look, Terry, I've definitely had enough of this. This ticket is definitely deceased, and when I signed on not two months ago, you assured me that his total lack of charisma was due to him being tired and wiped out following a prolonged primary season.
McAuliffe: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
Edwards: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, Look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment the DNC was over?
McAuliffe: The Boston Blueblood Vietnam Veteran Protester prefers campaigning on it's back! Remarkable candidate - isn't he? He's a great skateboarder!
Edwards: Look, I took the liberty of examining the poll numbers when I got home from the DNC,and I discovered the only reason that he had been sitting on his top of the ticket perch in the first place was that he had been NAILED there by the New York Times and by you.

(pause)

McAuliffe: Of course he was put up at the top of the ticket! If I hadn't nailed him up at the top of the ticket, then "VOOM" his wife and George Soros would have withdrawn all their money from this campaign!
Edwards: "VOOM"?!? Terry, this guy wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through him! Face it - the ticket is friggin' demised!
McAuliffe: No no! He's just pining!
Edwards: He's not pining! He's history! This ticket is no more! We have ceased to be! He's making Mondale look good! He's a stiff! Bereft of honesty! He makes people yearn for Dukakis!! THIS IS AN EX-CANDIDATE!!

(pause)

McAuliffe: Well, I'd better replace it, then (he takes a quick peek in a folder on his desk).
McAuliffe: Sorry John, I've had a look around and uh, we're right out of candidates.
Edwards: I see. I see, I get the picture.
McAuliffe: I got a Tom Harkin.

(pause)

Edwards: (sweet as sugar) Pray, does he have a combat history?
McAuliffe: Nnnnot really.
Edwards: WELL HE'S HARDLY A FRIGGIN' REPLACEMENT, IS HE?!!???!!?
McAuliffe: Look, if you wait four years - maybe I can hook you up with Hillary.
Edwards: Hillary, eh? Very well.

Player Comparison

I'm amazed at how close Derek Lowe's numbers resemble Mike Mussina's.

Take this year - Mussina is 9-8 with a 5.43 ERA while Lowe is 12-10 with a 5.22 ERA. Lowe has also managed to start 6 more games and pitch 35 more innings than Mussina this year (because Moose has been hurt) and yet Lowe has surrendered 3 fewer HR.

Over the past three years take a look at the numbers:

Mussina: 45-25 / 553 IP / 4.10 ERA

Lowe: 50-25 / 574 IP / 3.95 ERA

They have both given up exactly 252 earned runs over the past 3-years. I never realized how closely their performances have matched up.
Republican Pranks

Yesterday I noted a Boston Globe story that told of how a pro-Kerry veterans group cleverly named Veterans for Kerry tried to hand deliver a letter to Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney. This letter was the same letter that Max Cleland had tried to hand deliver to President Bush in Crawford, Texas asking him to condemn the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth TV ads.

The Veterans for Kerry were met by another veterans group calling themselves Veterans for Working Senators who are protesting Kerry's poor attendance record in his day job. According to this Berkshire Eagle report the Veterans for Working Senators complaint boils down to:
"We have no reason to question your [Kerry's] service in the jungles of Vietnam. But we have many questions about your service in the jungles of Washington, D.C.," the letter stated. "To use a military term, you have been absent without leave from the halls of Congress. Even worse, you have continued to accept your full salary for what amounts to a no-show job."
The only problem I have with this is I can't find any evidence of the Veterans for Working Senators ever existing prior to Friday's protest at the Massachusetts State House. A Google search comes up with no matches and a search of the Boston Herald also comes up with no record of Veterans for Working Senators being a real group.

Also present at the State House was Massachusetts Republican Party chairman Darrell Crate who offered to accept the letter from the Veterans for Kerry on behalf of Mitt Romney if the Veterans for Kerry would in turn accept a letter to be delivered to Kerry from the Veterans for Working Senators.

Was this a set up by Darrell Crate? Has the Kerry campaign become a joke to be treated as such by tongue in cheek organizations like the so-called "Veterans for Working Senators"?

This whole episode brings to mind Heywood Jablome and his counter protest of Martha Burk and her NCWO at Augusta National. It was his "Make My Dinner" and "Iron My Shirts" protest signs that exposed Burk and her New York Times sponsored protest as a sham.

Too bad that most people missed Darrell Crate's prank on Friday because it was a good one.

Coalition of the Willing Medal Count - Day 16

Here's a daily tracking of how the Coalition of the Willing does against the rest of the world:

Coalition of the Willing - 148 Gold, 146 Silver, 160 Bronze

The "Rest" of the World - 140 Gold, 143 Silver, 161 Bronze

Coalition of the Willing - 454 medals (51% of all medals)

The "Rest" of the World - 444 medals (49% of all medals)

ONE MORE DAY TIL THE FINAL MEDAL COUNT

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Presidential Odds

Forget the polls - if you want evidence of a Kerry campaign meltdown - look at the betting odds on the Presidential race. President Bush is now a substantial favorite to win re-election. Right now the betting line stands at Bush -$145 and Kerry +$105. (This means that you would have to risk $145 on Bush to win $100 or risk just $100 to win $105 on Kerry.)

After the DNC - the betting line was dead even at -$120 for both Kerry and Bush (bet $120 to win $100 with $20 vig going to the house). About two weeks ago Bush pulled slighly ahead at -$130 to -$110 for Kerry. This latest line represents a big jump in the odds.

For the record I have been following the odds via off-shore casinos like Bodog.com (scroll to bottom of page) but all of the lines I have checked have been consistent.
No Way to Run a Campaign - Update

Today I am updating the entries for my post No Way to Run a Campaign for the days Aug. 26th, Aug. 27th and Aug. 28th.

Aug. 26th - This ranks up there with Kerry's "Manny Ortiz" quote about the Red Sox:
As he [Kerry] was taking questions from the audience, he referred to the legendary Packers stadium, Lambeau Field (which has been called that for 39 years) as "Lambert Field."
Aug. 27th - The story of Kerry's first Purple Heart becomes murkier. And murkier. The Campaign strategy was to use Kerry's military experience to bolster his standing as Commander in Chief but what it has done is greatly undermine his credibility.

Aug. 28th - Earlier Kerry had told a mostly Cuban crowd in Florida that he voted for the get tough on Castro Helms-Burton Act. But when fact checked - it turns out that Kerry voted against Helms-Burton (only one of 22 nays). The Kerry campaign tried to explain the "discrepency":
Asked Friday to explain the discrepancy, Kerry aides said the senator cast one of the 22 nays that day in 1996 because he disagreed with some of the final technical aspects. But, said spokesman David Wade, Kerry supported the legislation in its purer form -- and voted for it months earlier.
I really don't think they understand that "I voted for it before I voted against it" has already become a national joke. Plus more questions on the Silver Star. Oh - and even more questions on Kerry's Silver Star.

Vatican Olympic Team

Yikes! I was just kidding about a Vatican Olympic Team but it seems that it is at least being officially considered:
The Vatican’s new sports department is to pursue contacts with the international sports federations and Olympic committees. However, it seems unlikely that the sports department will eventually follow the lead of Kiribati and enter an Olympic team. “Not yet,” a surprised voice from the Pontifical Council for Lay People said. “This office of the Church and sport is just beginning. I don’t know about the future.”
Follow the link - I find humor in the fact that the Vatican story is a substory after a discussion of women from Great Britain not being pretty enough to make the pages of Playboy. As an added note - "Magic Sponge" has to be the greatest pen name of all time!

The Letter

Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane,
I ain't got time to take a fast train.
Lonely days are gone, I'm a-goin' home,
'Cause my baby wrote me a letter.

- The Box Tops


John Kerry has written a letter but he seems to be having trouble getting it delivered. First he tried to have it delivered directly to President Bush in Texas and now he tried to get it delivered via Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney. Both attempts to deliver a simple letter have been failures.

First he wanted decorated veteran and triple amputee Max Cleland to deliver it directly to President Bush at Bush's Texas ranch. That attempt may have backfired on the campaign when the stunt made people recall Kerry's 1971 words about using "crippled veterans" to get media coverage. And the attempt was also a failure in that the Kerry campaign did not foresee a return letter from Bush to Kerry - which Cleland refused to take.

Some of the words from Bush's response letter seem to also cover the letter controversy as well:
You can't have it both ways. You can't build your convention and much of your campaign around your service in Vietnam, and then try to say that only those veterans who agree with you have a right to speak up. There is no double standard for our right to free speech. We all earned it.
You can't send us a letter without taking one back in return.

Now there are more antics in Massachusetts.

On Friday 10 members of Veterans for Kerry tried to hand deliver the same letter Max Cleland was unsuccessful at delivering. This time the Kerry campaign wanted the letter delivered to Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney - so that Romney could hand deliver it to Bush at this week's Republican National Convention.

The Veterans for Kerry's first problem arose when they were met by Veterans for Working Senators who are protesting Kerry's less than stellar attendance record on his day job. The Veterans for Kerry were upset because this, of course, was supposed to be THEIR publicity stunt.

The Veterans for Kerry then ran into a problem because Romney wasn't at the State House (they should have called first). Darrell Crate, the state Republican Party chairman offered to accept the letter from the Veterans for Kerry but he asked that they take in return a letter from the Veterans for Working Senators which simply asked that Kerry attend more Senate sessions and you know - earn his Senate paycheck. The Veterans for Kerry failed to deliver their letter and also refused to take a letter back in exchange.

In the end - the Veterans for Kerry dropped their letter off at the State House Office for External Affairs which is about the equivalent of just dropping the letter into the nearest mailbox.

First there were the Keystone Cops and now the Kerry Postmen.

John Kerry seems to be having an awful lot of trouble delivering a letter. Good thing he's not running for Postmaster General.
If I were Pope for a Day

The Vatican is a sovereign nation and yet they have never won an Olympic medal.

If I were Pope - I would change that in a hurry. I would ask all the top Catholic athletes to apply for dual citizenship and while not asking them to go against their home countries - I would provide a place for those Catholic athletes who just missed making the cut on their Olympic team. How many times do you read about a guy who was supposedly third or fourth best on his own squad winning a medal? Or what about all those stories about a guy winning a medal who was only there because someone above him dropped out?

I'm not saying that the Vatican would be a challenge to the US in the medal count but we sure as hell could do better than Ireland (one lousy medal). Just think of all the Catholic high schools and colleges in the US. Just from that pool we could field one hell of a girls softball or field hockey team (is field hockey an Olympic event?).

Just sayin'.
Miscellaneous Baseball Thoughts

The Kansas City Royals traded Carlos Beltran for three young players; catcher John Buck, third baseman Mark Teahen and pitcher Mike Wood. Buck is hitting just .216 with 6 HR and 15 RBI with the big club while Wood is 2-6 with a 5.57 ERA in 11 starts. Teahen is still at AAA where he is hitting .273 with 7 HR and 28 RBI in 56 games... Roberto Alomar's next hit will give him 2,722 and move him into 49th place all-time - passing Lou Gehrig... Manny Ramirez's next HR will give him 382 for his career and will move him into a tie for 47th place all-time - passing Albert "Joey - what do you want for Halloween" Belle... Did you know that Harold Baines had more career HR than Jim Rice? Yup - 384 to 382. I did not know that... Estaban Loaiza has had a 7.30 ERA since becoming a member of the Yankees. Jose Contreras has had a 3.98 ERA since being traded to Chicago... Do you think Tom Glavine would make it through waivers? I would love to see the Red Sox get him... Happy 54th birthday to Lousiana Lightning Ron Guidry (even though you were a Yankee - I still liked you)...

Friday, August 27, 2004

Human Shields

You know - I bet 9 out of 10 people who volunteered to go to Iraq to be human shields before the war will vote for Kerry (the tenth will vote for Nader).

Meanwhile polls show the military will be voting for Bush by a overwhelming 57% to 38% ratio.

Just sayin'.
Presidential Football

One thing that stood out for me on some of the presidential campaign trail footage tonight was the difference of both candidates playing catch. In the footage of President Bush - a team is gathered around him and he is playing catch with a guy who looks like he's probably the star of the team (the guy has a QB type number - 10).

The footage I saw of John Kerry showed him playing catch while practice was still going on (as if he wasn't even important enough for this high school team to even take a break from their nothing preseason practice) and Kerry is playing catch with a kid who looks like he's probably a second or third string lineman (with a lineman number of 74).

Now you may think that these observations are pretty picky but I think they speak to advisors in the Kerry camp that just don't get it. The devil is in the details and the Kerry people don't seem to do details. Consciously and subconsciously the voters note these differences.
No Way to Run a Campaign - Update

Today I am updating the entries for my post No Way to Run a Campaign for the days Aug. 24th and Aug. 25th.

Aug. 24th - John Kerry comes out of his media semi-seclusion to appear on Comedy Channel's Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Kerry manages a "Daily" double of both alienating the main stream media by appearing on the Comedy Channel instead of say - NBC, ABC or CBS while at the same time appearing less Presidential than host Jon Stewart. Even the normally "Kerry friendly" Slate rips into the appearance:
Kerry's charisma was less than zero: It was negative. He was a charm vacuum, forced to actually borrow mojo from audience members. He was a dessicated husk, a tin man who really didn't have a heart. His lack of vibrancy, his utter dearth of sex appeal made Al Gore look like Charo. . . .
Aug. 25th - Kerry sends triple amputee Max Cleland to Bush's Texas ranch to demand the President denounce the swift Boat Veteran ads. The event seems staged (and is even reportedly filmed by Michael Moore) and reminds people of a quote from Kerry from back in 1971.
"I called the media. . . . I said, 'If I take some crippled veterans down to the White House and we chain ourselves to the gates, will we get coverage?' 'Oh, yes, we will cover that.' "--John Kerry, testimony before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, April 22, 1971

The "stunt" may have double back-fired when the Bush Campaign presents their own letter which reads in part:
We’re proud of our service in Vietnam. We served honorably in Vietnam and we were deeply hurt and offended by your comments when you came home.

You can’t have it both ways. You can’t build your convention and much of your campaign around your service in Vietnam, and then try to say that only those veterans who agree with you have a right to speak up. There is no double standard for our right to free speech. We all earned it.
The letter is signed by by among others - two Congressional Medal of Honor recipients.

Lileks at Jewish World Review

Another good piece by Lileks (who is one name worthy like Jordan or Tiger at this point) in the Jewish World Review.

I know some of you are saying to yourselves - "I didn't know Lileks was Jewish?" But he's not (you don't have to be Jewish to write for the JWR silly goose).

What struck me was how much his picture reminded me of Mr. Potato Head.






If that wasn't distracting enough - it looks like Mr. Bean is working in their subscriptions department.





I didn't know Mr. Bean was Jewish.
Coalition of the Willing Medal Count - Day 14

Here's a daily tracking of how the Coalition of the Willing does against the rest of the world:

Coalition of the Willing - 132 Gold, 125 Silver, 139 Bronze

The "Rest" of the World - 111 Gold, 113 Silver, 123 Bronze

Coalition of the Willing - 396 medals (53% of all medals)

The "Rest" of the World - 347 medals (47% of all medals)

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Player Comparison: Nomar vs. Cabrera

So how has the big trade worked out so far? Let's take a look at the numbers:

Nomar: 19 G / 77 AB / 14 R / 3 HR / 11 RBI / .312 BA / .349 OBP / .519 SLG

Cabrera: 23 G / 96 AB / 12 R / 3 HR / 14 RBI / .281 BA / .304 OBP / .469 SLG

Pretty even but I think the edge goes to Boston because Cabrera has played in 4 more games and his glove has been all that was advertised.
A Tailgunner Joe moment for Swift Boat Johnny?

As new revelations are made about John Kerry's "exaggerations" almost on a daily basis and as the Kerry Campaign continues to "accuse the accusers" instead of answering the questions being raised - I'm starting to become convinced that Kerry may be heading toward a similar end as Joe McCarthy.

Now don't get me wrong - I in no way want to imply that John Kerry is the same as Joe McCarthy who was truly monstrous and a black mark on our history. I am struck, however, by the eerie coincidence that Joe McCarthy got the infamous number of "57 Communists in the State Department" from the label of a Heinz ketchup bottle and now John Kerry is married to the heir of the Heinz fortune. I am more struck by the fact that (to my knowledge) Joe McCarthy never made public that infamous list of "57" and John Kerry seems determined to keep his military records out of the public eye. Remember it was that infamous list that made McCarthy (in)famous and it was the deeds described in Kerry's military records that first brought him to national exposure.

Kerry came close to getting his McCarthy like comeuppance when Bob Dole (a decorated war hero) said his peace last Sunday. Kerry was lucky in that the press was able to pass that off as the "mean Bob Dole" being back. Dole doesn't have the grandfatherly warmth of a Joseph Welsh. Next time I think Kerry won't be so lucky.

I predict that during one of the debates - Kerry will not be able to help himself and will call President Bush a coward or a traitor for not serving in Vietnam. I wouldn't be surprised if Bush's response was:
Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you no sense of decency?
M*A*S*H Doctor Veterans for Truth

ANNOUNCER: Welcome to HARDBALL. Tonight we have Democratic Presidential Candidate Dr. Frank Burns and the leader of M*A*S*H Doctor Veterans for Truth - Dr. Benjamin Pierce.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: I'm Chris Matthews let's play Hardball.

MATTHEWS: This half-hour on HARDBALL, Korean Veteran Dr. Ben Pierce, Frank Burn's longtime nemesis, on his contested new book, "Frank Burns Eats Worms." Dr. Pierce is here to debate Dr. Frank Burns, the Democratic nominee for President.

Dr. Burns and Dr. Pierce served together in the same unit in Korea but while Dr. Burns returned home to a successful practice and political career - Dr. Pierce suffered a mental breakdown and is now making a living as an author attacking the beloved Frank Burns and his politics reportedly at the behest of the Republican Party.

Let me ask you gentlemen about these questions. But let's start with the central notion that a lot of us have of Frank Burns. Whatever you think of his politics, he was a war hero. Is that true?

DR. BENJAMIN "HAWKEYE" PIERCE, M*A*S*H DOCTOR VETERANS FOR TRUTH: That's not true at all.

MATTHEWS: Why isn't it true?

PIERCE: Well first off he fabricated the citation for his Purple Heart, I think conclusively, based on the documentation in my book.

MATTHEWS: But according to the Army - Dr. Burns received the medal for getting a shell fragment in his eye as the result of an enemy attack on your hospital unit. Are you saying the Army is wrong and you are right?

PIERCE: It was an egg shell fragment. Frank was having breakfast at the time of the attack. Frank put himself up for the medal. The medal is a fraud. Tell him Frank.

DR. FRANK BURNS, DEMOCRATIC NOMINEE FOR PRESIDENT: Chris, who are you going to believe? The Army or this man who is clearly working on the instructions of the Republicans to smear me?

I understand that Hawkeye has been a bit disturbed since he came home from the war but what you have to understand is that Dr. Pierce has always been jealous of me both because I was a better surgeon than him and because I was his superior officer.

PIERCE: Oh please! Frank you know that is a load of...

(CROSSTALK)

MATTHEWS: Dr. Pierce, is it true that you had an issue with Frank's authority?

PIERCE: What authority? Nobody listened to him.

BURNS: Chris when I served I considered myself a surgeon first and a soldier second. I wasn't there to order people around. Pierce was the one who had to have all the attention. Always doing things to shine the spotlight on himself. Things like showing no nevermind to rank or military authority.

(CROSSTALK)

PIERCE: Surgeon first? Frank was like regular Army. He got a big kick out of his rank.

BURNS: Pierce what would you know about regular Army? I mean you wouldn't even carry a gun.

MATTHEWS: Is that true? You wouldn't even carry a gun?

PIERCE: When I got thrown into that war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I said I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun.

MATTHEWS: Was that supposed to be clever? Were you afraid of carrying a gun? Are you jealous of Dr. Burns because he was not?

PIERCE: What's to be jealous of? I'm just here because those of us who served with Frank in Korea know for a fact that he is unfit for command. Especially as Commander in Chief.

MATTHEWS: In your book "Frank Burns Eats Worms" you allege that Dr. Burns had a breakdown of sorts and that's why he was shipped out of Korea but isn't it true that you're the one who went into a mental hospital?

PIERCE: This isn't about me. This is about Frank Burns complete inability to be a leader worthy of respect.

BURNS: Chris, when I was transferred out of Korea I was assigned to a veterans' hospital in Indiana, and promoted to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. Would the army promote a crazy person? I'll also have you note that Pierce was never promoted. Chris, I think it is clear that the Republicans must be putting Pierce up to this.

MATTHEWS: Dr. Pierce are you a Republican? Are the Republicans putting you up to this?

PIERCE: Me a Republican? I can't see how anyone could possibly picture me as a Republican. I mean that's laughable. I mean if I was an actor and you put me on the most successful show on TV - even then nobody would be able to see me as a Republican. I mean I'd probably kill that show if they tried to show me as a Republican.

(CROSSTALK)

MATTHEWS: Then why are you doing this?

PIERCE: Because Frank is lying about his service in Korea and those of us who served with him know him to be unfit for command and in fact the biggest danger I think our country has ever faced.

BURNS: Well, you know that President Bush never served in Korea.

PIERCE: Frank - he would have been 6-years old at the time

BURNS: Well, I'm not here to...

(CROSSTALK)

MATTHEWS: Thank you to Dr. Burns who clearly has nothing to hide and to Dr. Pierce who must be working for the Republicans. Next time on HARDBALL - does Jimmy Carter's spit cure cancer?

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Heh Heh

From Big Stupid Tommy - pure comedy genius. Some of my favorite lies:
A group of walruses (walri) is referred to as a "cretch."

There is no word in Russian for "pre game warmup." There are 119 for "hangover."

The movie Mystic Pizza is a thinly veiled allegory of Harry Truman's presidency.

Celery, if you think about it, is meat.

The National Anthem of Bulgaria is "Ice Ice Baby."

The scene in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, where Jonathan Winters destroys the gas station? That was real. He got mad when somebody took a picture of him taking a dump.
I mean you could actually tell some of those lies in a bar and people would believe you.
Sorry Butt I Have to Say It

While reading Lileks today (like I do every day) I was struck by something he said:
My life today would have been much easier if I hadn't been struck with the vision of a former president taking the podium in Boston to announce "I'm Bill Clinton, and I'm reporting for booty!"

First off that's funny but I'm having a similar issue. My life would be much easier if a friend hadn't pointed out to me that the Kerry campaign is having so much difficulty because August is National Anal Sex Month and they're just taking it in the ass. Sorry to be so blunt and sorry if that imagery will stick with you (at least then I won't be alone - it's worse than having the Macarena stuck in your head on an endless loop).
Who Do I See About This?

Given that the Presidential Campaign is now focused on events that happened 30 or more years ago - I would love to see the RNC in New York opening music be the Theme to the Rockford Files and the closing anthem be Alice Cooper's Elected.

Who do I have to see about making this happen?
Miscellaneous Thoughts

I was flipping around the channels last night and I caught Bill O'Reilly speaking to someone regarding the Swift Boat Vets. O'Reilly basically said (I'm paraphrasing), "If I were Kerry I would have come out when these guys first surfaced - met with the press and said that these are scurrilous allegations and then just ignored them [the Swift Boat Vets]. I then would have got on with speaking about the issues I felt were important to America." I was struck with the thought that this was almost the exact thinking the people at CNN had about O'Reilly when he first came on the scene at Fox News and look what it got them... Not for nothing but Doug Mirabelli is hitting HR's at a clip of one every 14.1 AB while Alex Rodriguez is hitting them at rate of one every 15.5 AB... Thought provoking column by Claudia Rosett... Whatever happened to Ballantine Beer?... Is Trevor Hoffman the unanimous choice for NL Come-Back Player of the Year?... John Kerry was on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart last night and the question of Christmas in Cambodia was treated as a joke. I am curious to see if the main stream media who have been slighted by Kerry's unavailability of late now decide to take the gloves off on the issue... Happy 58th birthday to "Red Sox for a day" Rollie Fingers...
Top 5 Alice Cooper Songs

1. Under My Wheels
2. Only Women Bleed
3. No More Mr. Nice Guy
4. Elected
5. I'll Never Cry

Coalition of the Willing Medal Count - Day 12

Here's a daily tracking of how the Coalition of the Willing does against the rest of the world:

Coalition of the Willing - 115 Gold, 107 Silver, 113 Bronze

The "Rest" of the World - 83 Gold, 91 Silver, 100 Bronze

Coalition of the Willing - 335 medals (55% of all medals)

The "Rest" of the World - 274 medals (45% of all medals)

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

No Way to Run A Campaign - Update

I have decided to keep the post - No Way to Run a Campaign - updated (hopefully daily). I will try to keep the entries to things that are direct missteps by the Kerry campaign (and I know that eliminates some otherwise juicy stuff).

You may have noted that I added the Tom Harkin comments about Cheney being a coward for not serving in Vietnam to the Aug. 14th entry and I added the Kerry flip-flop on Korean troop redeployment to the Aug. 18th entry.

Below are the entries for Aug. 23rd and today.

Aug. 23 - Kerry Campaign "alleges" illegal connection between Bush Campaign and Swift Boat Vets for Truth but ignores the fact that proof of illegal contact between Kerry Campaign and 527 MoveOn.org is literally hosted on their Campaign Website.

Aug. 24 - The Kerry Campaign backpedals on Kerry's first Purple Heart - quote from Fox News' Major Garrett:
GARRETT: And questions keep coming. For example, Kerry received a Purple Heart for wounds suffered on December 2nd, 1968. But an entry in Kerry's own journal written nine days later, he writes that, quote, he and his crew hadn't been shot at yet, unquote. Kerry's campaign has said it is possible his first Purple Heart was awarded for an unintentionally self-inflicted wound.
Heh Heh

New ad by Swift Yacht Veterans supports Kerry.

Bush's Three Pronged Plan of Attack

President Bush will win the November election and this is how I believe he plans to do it:

1. Make Kerry deal with attacks from all three sides - Left, Right and Center
2. Erode Kerry's base
3. Stay above the fray

Let's take a look at each in turn.

1. Make Kerry deal with attacks from all three sides - Left, Right and Center

Bush will have to handle the attacks from the right himself. He will have ads talking about Kerry's record in the Senate where he voted against all the weapon systems the military is now using. Kerry voted to cut Intelligence spending and had an awful attendance record when he sat on the Senate Intelligence Committee.

Many people think Bush needs to get Kerry to release his military records to really do him harm but it is the attendance records from the closed door Intelligence meetings that Bush really wants released. And what possible reason can Kerry give for not releasing those records? If Kerry stonewalls releasing those records - then he will have made another big strategic error. You can be sure that a Bush person will come out and say something like, "Hey all we're asking is to know how much effort John Kerry puts into his job. He says he wants to run on his record but how can the voters judge him on his record when he won't release them?"

If the records are released and they show that Kerry only attended one-in-four meetings then he loses all rights to complain about any intelligence failures on the part of the current administration. Bigtime bonus if Karl Rove and crew can place Kerry out wind-surfing or skiing instead of attending important closed door Intelligence Committee meetings.

In order to combat these attacks - Kerry will have to move more towards the center. This is where the attacks from the Left come in.

Some of the attacks will be done under the radar by Bush folks but the main brunt of the attacks will come from the Left itself.

Kerry will have to show greater commitment to Iraq and he will have to say something like, "We will be in Iraq for however long it takes." Even if it means keeping the troops there as long as we have kept them in Korea? "Well..ummm..yes - whatever it takes."

This will not make the part of the Left that wants the troops home from Iraq right away very happy. They'll be thinking that Howard Dean would have brought the troops home and that Kerry is no George McGovern.

Kerry will also have to answer questions about the Kyoto Accords and the ICC. Mr. Kerry if elected President - will you sign the US up to the Kyoto Accords? (Watch the waffling begin on this one. Kerry voted against the Accords in the Senate and any sane person knows that the whole thing is a sham but the Left loves Kyoto - it has become a magic word among the Prius driving crowd.) Mr. Kerry - what about the ICC? If elected - will you put the US under the jurisdiction of the ICC? (Major fireworks here - Kerry knows he can't do that. If he says "Yes" he gets to keep the Left but lose the rest of the country.)

So as Kerry starts distancing himself from the Left to move to the Center - look for the voice of the Left to start calling out to him, "My Kerry, my Kerry - why have you abandoned us?" Look for lines of questioning from Lefty organizations to get down-right pissy as it is understood that Kerry is distancing himself from Lefty concerns.

Attacks from the Center will come two ways - on taxes and on the Swift Boat Vet allegations.

Many people have mistakenly thought the Swift Boat ads are attacks from the right but they are not. Many of the Swift Boat guys are Democrats but no matter what their party affiliation - they all hate John Kerry. These guys are not stopping their ads and when the 527 deadline passes - the Swift Boat guys will still have a book tour to do. Books stores literally cannot keep Unfit for Command on the shelves and the delivery of new books should nicely coincide with the time TV ads have to be pulled from the airways. At some point Kerry will have to answer their allegations especially since the next ad (my radar tells me) will come out and call Kerry a traitor for dealing with the North Vietnamese in Paris while still a Naval officer.

As far as taxes are concerned - Kerry has been promising the moon so far in his campaign. Soon he will have to explain how he plans to pay for it all. Union guys will begin to think, "Wait - this guy betrayed his country and he wants to raise my taxes?"

2. Erode Kerry's base

Bush understands that the Left will never be openly for him. What he hopes to accomplish is one of two things - generate a Cartman like, "Screw you guys - I'm going home" response (or in this case "staying home" as in not bothering to vote) or get some secret voters - people who when it comes to the moment of truth of voting for Kerry just can't pull the lever in good conscience.

The feeling of "Anyone But Bush" ABB on the Left is strong but the feeling of "I really want to vote for John Kerry" is very weak. As Kerry moves away from Liberal positions to more moderate positions - the far Left will start to wonder "Hey is it too late to get someone else?" and "Hey - what about Hillary?"

I would liken what is going to happen to taking a child out to dinner. At first the child is very excited about going out to a restaurant. Then when it comes time to order - he gets it in his head that he wants lobster. "No you can't have lobster." "Why not?" "It's not on the children's menu." "But they have lobster - I can see the people at the next table - they have lobster." "You can't have lobster! Look there were 9 choices on the children's menu and I've narrowed it down to just one choice - grilled cheese." "But I really don't like grilled cheese." "It's grilled cheese or nothing at all." "Fine - I don't want anything. Screw you dad - I'm going home."

Start listening for mention of Hillary. Some people may start to think "Screw John Kerry - I want Hillary in 4-years instead."

3. Stay above the fray

President Bush has done a good job of staying above the fray in the Swift Boat controversy. Now he has condemned their ads and the ads of all the 527 folks and is waiting for Kerry to do the same. Kerry really can't distance himself too far from his 527's because he's relying on their advertising. Without their advertising - he's sunk (unless the wife writes a big check).

Ads attacking Bush will continue and Bush will then pull out his big gun. He will either have a commercial by John McCain (author of the campaign finance law that is bastardized by 527's) condemning the ads and Kerry for not distancing himself from them or even better McCain will do it from the floor of the RNC where his message of "Shame on you" will get free airtime.

You also know that Kerry (or maybe Theresa) will have at least one Howard Dean moment as the pressure begins to mount. Just as surely - you know that Bush will keep himself above the fray. The contrast will become very striking to the undecided voter.

So that is how I see the election playing out.

Let's see if I'm right.
Coalition of the Willing Medal Count - Day 11

Here's a daily tracking of how the Coalition of the Willing does against the rest of the world:

Coalition of the Willing - 113 Gold, 97 Silver, 90 Bronze

The "Rest" of the World - 73 Gold, 87 Silver, 107 Bronze

Coalition of the Willing - 300 medals (53% of all medals)

The "Rest" of the World - 267 medals (47% of all medals)

EDIT: I apologize for skipping yesterday's update - honestly I was too busy enjoying the Instalanche.

EDIT 2: I also apologize for having a wrong count total today. I had two nations in the "Rest" category when they should have been in the "Coalition" category. The mistake has been fixed on the Day 12 count.

Monday, August 23, 2004

No Way to Run a Campaign

If it seems to you like every day something new and damaging to the Kerry Campaign pops up - it's because literally almost every day something damaging to the campaign has popped up.

Let's take a look at the month of August to illustrate how the Kerry Campaign has truly been the gang that couldn't shoot straight. (How come nobody has been fired for this epic bumbling?)

EDIT: Note that I have continued the September Timeline in a seperate post.

Aug. 1 - Normally a candidate gets a "bounce" in the polls immediately after his convention - not so for Kerry.

Aug. 2 - Kerry advisor says Kerry will make world safer by giving Iran nuclear fuel and hope that they use it for good. Sane people everywhere say, "Are you friggin' kidding me?" Meanwhile the Kerry campaign suffers some guilt from association after Howard Dean questions the timing of terror alerts in New York - claiming they could be politically motivated. Again, sane people everywhere ask, "Are you friggin' kidding me?"

Aug. 3 - Swift Boat Veterans for Truth explain their version of the real story of John Kerry's military history - this picture was interesting

Aug. 4 - The Kerry campaign and DNC lawyers threaten legal action against any stations that air the Swift Boat ads. Instead of addressing the allegations made by the vets - Kerry decides that threat of legal action would be better. The campaign slogan is officially amended to "Bring it on.....and we'll sue!" Meanwhile Senator Kerry announces:
I believe I can fight a more effective, more thoughtful, more strategic, more proactive, more sensitive war on terror that reaches out to other nations and brings them to our side and lives up to American values in history.

Aug. 5 - Kerry tells reporters that he would not have waited around like Bush did for 7 minutes on 9/11. He states:
"Had I been reading to children and had my top aide whispered in my ear, 'America is under attack,' I would have told those kids very politely and nicely that the president of the United States had something that he needed to attend to -- and I would have attended to it."

This claim comes back to bite him in the ass when his actual reaction to the morning of 9/11 is revealed - over 40 minutes of not being able to think or act.

Aug. 6 - Former New York Mayor - Rudy Giuliani notes that it is sad that a man running for the president seems to be getting his clues from Michael Moore and Rudy adds for good measure:
John Kerry is an indecisive candidate [with] an inconsistent position on the War on Terror, who voted against funding for our troops and who cannot give a clear answer on his position concerning the decision to remove Saddam Hussein

On the Swift Boat front - the now controversial Michael Kranish pens a piece for the Boston Globe that claims that George Elliot has recanted his criticism of John Kerry. George Elliot responds under oath saying "I said no such things."

Aug. 7 - Kerry's wife Theresa contradicts Kerry's claim that the President did not act properly on the morning of 9/11 by saying:
"I think the president behaved correctly in terms of being quiet amidst stunning news like that in a classroom of kids," she told the host of MSNBC's "Hardball With Chris Matthews" during an interview before the Democratic National Convention last month. "You know, what can you do? It takes you a couple of minutes to digest what you have just heard. And then he was . . . not in his White House and in his office with all of his people. He was in the school in Florida."

Aug. 8 - At the DNC Theresa Heinz-Kerry claimed to be active in anti-Apartheid protests but evidence suggests that she attended just a single protest.

Aug. 9 - A Rueters article notes that; "Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry said on Monday he would have voted for the congressional resolution authorizing force against Iraq even if he had known then no weapons of mass destruction would be found." This goes over well with the Deaniac base.

Aug. 10 - The Mary Ann Knowles story about having to work through chemotherapy that Kerry used at the DNC turns out to be untrue.

Aug. 11 - The Kerry Campaign changes its story on Christmas in Cambodia. I don't think "seared into my memory" means what I think he thinks it means.

Aug. 12 - Quiet day for the Kerry Campaign. Whoever was in charge today should get a promotion.

Aug. 13 - Grumbling from the Kerry Press Corps. Oh and an article by Kathleen Antrim in the ultra liberal San Francisco Examiner leads with, "John F. Kerry's campaign for president is imploding. And he knows it."

Aug. 14 - Dave Kopel examines media bias on the Swift Boat Veterans issue. The Kerry Campaign takes another guilt by association hit when Senator Tom Harkin calls VP Dick Cheney a "coward" for not serving in Vietnam. It is quickly pointed out that Harkin has lied about his service (actually lack of service) in Vietnam in the past. Harkin is supposed to be an integral part of the campaign but is now nowhere to be found.

Aug. 15 - The Christmas in Cambodia claims are examined in of all places - The Seattle Times

Aug. 16 - It is noted that the Kerry / Edwards Campaign site touts that "Kerry is an Experienced Leader in the Intelligence Field - John Kerry served on the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence is the former Vice Chairman of the Committee" - the problem is that was actually Bob Kerrey. John Kerry was never Vice Chairman (maybe there was an attendance requirement?). The claim was later removed from the site but it is strange that Kerry doesn't even seem to know his own resume.

Reports that David Alston never served with Kerry on a Swift Boat turn out to be false but the truth is that it is likely that Alston only served a week with Kerry. Alston is quietly dropped by the Kerry campaign. Bonus - Christmas in Cambodia gets coverage in the Wall Street Journal.

Aug. 17 - FactCheck.org researches a Bush ad claim that Kerry missed 76% of the meetings for the Senate Intelligence Committee (a committee on which Kerry sat and something on his resume that he touts as reason to vote for him). After checking the available data - FactCheck.org says that the amount of meetings missed or skipped by Kerry was probably higher than 76%. Kerry refuses to release records on his attendance at "closed" meetings

Aug. 18 - Swift Boat vets respond to a counter ad by MoveOn PAC
"We find it odd that MoveOn PAC would question the right of a group of veterans to voice an opinion on a legitimate issue-an issue first raised by John Kerry-and now the centerpiece of his campaign," said Rear Admiral Roy Hoffmann, U.S. Navy (Ret.), founder and chairman of Swift Boat Veterans for Truth (www.swiftvets.com). "The 300-plus veterans who make up the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth have every right to participate in a public debate concerning the controversy surrounding John Kerry's military service record. We were there. We served alongside John Kerry and we know the history of his service. We will not be silenced."

Kerry recieves a less than overwhelming reception from the VFW National Convention in Cincinnati. At the same event Kerry criticised the President's announcement of troop redeployment out of Europe and Korea. The fact is that just two weeks earlier Kerry was quoted as wanting to reduce the number of troops in Korea himself. After the flip-flop is pointed out - troop redeployment is dropped as a campaign talking point.

Aug. 19 - Veterans from the USS Gridley (who served with Kerry on his first tour of Vietnam) come forward as not real enamored of the Senator and the words "just another goofy Ensign" enter the national consciousness.

Aug. 20 - A second ad from Swift Boat Veterans for Truth is released. This ad deals with Kerry's testimony in front of Congress in which he alleges war crimes were rampant in Vietnam. The Veterans in the ad are none too happy with Kerry. The NY Post also has a Christmas in Cambodia piece.

Aug. 21 - The Washington Post profiles William Ferris (who was severely wounded in action and who watched John Kerry's 1971 Senate testimony about war crimes from his hospital bed) and other Swift Boat veterans. The article reminds the reader that Kerry has not released his medical or military records.

Aug. 22 - Bob Dole says something that probably many were thinking:
"One day he's saying that we were shooting civilians, cutting off their ears, cutting off their heads, throwing away his medals or his ribbons," Dole said. "The next day he's standing there, 'I want to be president because I'm a Vietnam veteran.

"Maybe he should apologize to all the other 2.5 million veterans who served. He wasn't the only one in Vietnam," said Dole, whose World War II wounds left him without the use of his right arm.

Dole added: "And here's, you know, a good guy, a good friend. I respect his record. But three Purple Hearts and never bled that I know of. I mean, they're all superficial wounds. Three Purple Hearts and you're out."

The Main Stream Media handling of Kerry's Vietnam record starts to turn from kid glove coverage to real journalism with articles by Michael Barone and John Leo in US New & World Report, a column asking for answers from Kerry by Ken Tower in Investor's Business Daily

Aug. 23 - Kerry Campaign "alleges" illegal connection between Bush Campaign and Swift Boat Vets for Truth but ignores the fact that proof of illegal contact between Kerry Campaign and 527 MoveOn.org is literally hosted on their Campaign Website.

Aug. 24 - The Kerry Campaign backpedals on Kerry's first Purple Heart - quote from Fox News' Major Garrett:
GARRETT: And questions keep coming. For example, Kerry received a Purple Heart for wounds suffered on December 2nd, 1968. But an entry in Kerry's own journal written nine days later, he writes that, quote, he and his crew hadn't been shot at yet, unquote. Kerry's campaign has said it is possible his first Purple Heart was awarded for an unintentionally self-inflicted wound.
John Kerry comes out of his media semi-seclusion to appear on Comedy Channel's Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Kerry manages a "Daily" double of both alienating the main stream media by appearing on the Comedy Channel instead of say - NBC, ABC or CBS while at the same time appearing less Presidential than host Jon Stewart. Even the normally "Kerry friendly" Slate rips into the appearance:
Kerry's charisma was less than zero: It was negative. He was a charm vacuum, forced to actually borrow mojo from audience members. He was a dessicated husk, a tin man who really didn't have a heart. His lack of vibrancy, his utter dearth of sex appeal made Al Gore look like Charo. . . .
Aug. 25th - Kerry sends triple amputee Max Cleland to Bush's Texas ranch to demand the President denounce the swift Boat Veteran ads. The event seems staged (and is even reportedly filmed by Michael Moore) and reminds people of a quote from Kerry from back in 1971.
"I called the media. . . . I said, 'If I take some crippled veterans down to the White House and we chain ourselves to the gates, will we get coverage?' 'Oh, yes, we will cover that.' "--John Kerry, testimony before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, April 22, 1971

The "stunt" may have double back-fired when the Bush Campaign presents their own letter which reads in part:
We’re proud of our service in Vietnam. We served honorably in Vietnam and we were deeply hurt and offended by your comments when you came home.

You can’t have it both ways. You can’t build your convention and much of your campaign around your service in Vietnam, and then try to say that only those veterans who agree with you have a right to speak up. There is no double standard for our right to free speech. We all earned it.
The letter is signed by by among others - two Congressional Medal of Honor recipients.

Aug. 26th - This ranks up there with Kerry's "Manny Ortiz" quote about the Red Sox:
As he [Kerry] was taking questions from the audience, he referred to the legendary Packers stadium, Lambeau Field (which has been called that for 39 years) as "Lambert Field."
Aug. 27th - The story of Kerry's first Purple Heart becomes murkier. And murkier. The Campaign strategy was to use Kerry's military experience to bolster his standing as Commander in Chief but what it has done is greatly undermine his credibility.

Aug. 28th - Earlier Kerry had told a mostly Cuban crowd in Florida that he voted for the get tough on Castro Helms-Burton Act. But when fact checked - it turns out that Kerry voted against Helms-Burton (only one of 22 nays). The Kerry campaign tried to explain the "discrepency":
Asked Friday to explain the discrepancy, Kerry aides said the senator cast one of the 22 nays that day in 1996 because he disagreed with some of the final technical aspects. But, said spokesman David Wade, Kerry supported the legislation in its purer form -- and voted for it months earlier.
I really don't think they understand that "I voted for it before I voted against it" has already become a national joke. Plus more questions on the Silver Star. Oh - and even more questions on Kerry's Silver Star. The also Kerry campaign allows itself to fall victim of a prank (my personal favorite)

Aug. 29th - The Kerry campaign is going so poorly - even the Kerry girls get booed.

Aug. 30th - It seems like even the Democratic consultants realize that Kerry's message of "things are bad and have to change" isn't selling.

Aug. 31st - It seems like the Kerry campaign finally acknowledges what has been obvious to most everyone else for a long time and changes in the campaign staffing are in the works.

EDIT: I have decided to keep this post updated maybe til Election Day (I will try to make it daily).

Now there were many more things that I could have added in but I think you get the idea. Whoever is running the Kerry Campaign has no clue, no strategy and no control over the message that the campaign should be getting out. They pinned their hopes on presenting Kerry as a decorated war veteran and pretty much nothing else. That strategy is coming back to haunt them in a big way.

With the Swift Boat ads doing damage to their candidates credibility - the Kerry Campaign now wants to focus on issues but the questions raised by the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth remain unanswered and claims of wanting to run an issues oriented campaign ring hollow when one considers that the DNC was pretty much issue free.


Sunday, August 22, 2004

John Kerry as Frank Burns



I got to thinking about how much John Kerry reminds me of the M*A*S*H character Frank Burns. Follow me on this:

- Sure working at a MASH unit was dangerous but the only character I could see putting himself up for medals would be Frank Burns

- Ferret face

- Couldn't you see Frank talking up his service while at ther same time describing his comrades as "sicko animals"?

- Couldn't you see Frank exagerating his service exploits and then threatening to sue anyone who told a differing story?

Too bad "John Kerry eats worms" doesn't rhyme.



Geezers

Heh heh - it bit my ass!

Found via Straight White Guy

Miscellaneous Thoughts

Heh heh - US troops out of Europe. I thought they wanted us to leave?... Yesterday I mentioned how the shutout is becoming a thing of the past. Exhibit A would have to be yesterday's outing by Barry Zito who went 8 innings and gave up no runs but was lifted before the 9th (maybe because he threw 106 pitches). The pitch count didn't seem too high. Why was he lifted? A complete game shutout used to be a thing of pride. What happened?... Najaf - the Woodstock of Iraq?... I feel bad for Jamie Moyer. He is only 5 wins behind Randy Johnson for the all-time record for a Mariner pitcher. It looked like he would get the record this season - easily. But now 5 wins looks like it will have to wait for next season... Mark Steyn on the Hollywood influence on the Democratic Party. Always a good read... As far as I'm concerned - last night's Patriots preseason loss to Cincinnati never happened... Happy 65th birthday to Captain Carl Yastrzemski...
Lopez vs. Estrada

This past off-season the Braves let Javy Lopez walk as a free agent and went with youngster Johnny Estrada as their catcher. Let's take a look at how that's working out:

Lopez: 116 G / 452 AB / 63 R / 19 HR / 65 RBI / .316 BA / .369 OBP / .504 SLG

Estrada: 103 G / 359 AB / 48 R / 8 HR / 62 RBI / .331 BA / .389 OBP / .493 SLG

I think Lopez has the advantage but it is close enough that you would have to say this definitely was a good move by the Braves especially when you factor in that Lopez is 33 (will be 34 in November) and is signed for $7.5 million per year while Estrada is just 28 and is only on the books this year for $310,000.
My All-Time Red Sox Team

C - Carlton Fisk
1st - Jimmie Foxx
2nd - Bobby Doerr
SS - Nomar Garciaparra
3rd - Wade Boggs
LF - Ted Williams
CF - Dom DiMaggio
RF - Dwight Evans
DH - Carl Yastrzemski

(Toughest ommission - Jim Rice. You can't give him left field because of Williams but you could argue that he was a better hitter than Yaz or put Yaz at first and leave off Foxx.)

Starter 1 - Cy Young
Starter 2 - Roger Clemens
Starter 3 - Pedro Martinez
Starter 4 - Luis Tiant

Closer - Bob Stanley


Encyclopedia Brown

Ah - Encyclopedia Brown. How well I remember reading those mysteries as a kid.

Today kids wouldn't know what the heck an encyclopedia was but that hasn't stopped some authors from trying to spice up an old standard.

Encyclopedia Brown Does It Again!



Coalition of the Willing Medal Count - Day 9

Here's a daily tracking of how the Coalition of the Willing does against the rest of the world:

Coalition of the Willing - 87 Gold, 74 Silver, 80 Bronze

The "Rest" of the World - 60 Gold, 73 Silver, 83 Bronze

Coalition of the Willing - 241 medals (53% of all medals)

The "Rest" of the World - 216 medals (47% of all medals)

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Tom Delay Speech

While I'm going down memory lane - here's a speech delivered a year ago by Tom Delay.

He could easily update that speech and give it at the DNC.
Dennis Miller Line

He said it over a year ago but it is still true today.

“We have to depend on ourselves in this country right now because we can't depend on anyone else. We are simultaneously the most loved, hated, feared, and respected nation on this planet. In short, we're Frank Sinatra.” – Dennis Miller quoted in an article last year in the Weekly Standard.
Miscellaneous American League Thoughts

Ichiro leads the AL in hits with 192 and is a speedster on the basepaths. That's why I find it strange that he only has 4 triples - you would expect him to have more. Although - for whatever reason Ichiro has never been big on triples - he has averaged just 8 the last three years. Strange... Somebody explain to me why Rafael Palmeiro leads the AL in intentional walks with 15. Why? The guy is just hitting .252 this year and just .237 with RISP. Why walk him?... Going into today - Mark Bellhorn has been out of the Red Sox line-up for 19 days and yet he still leads the AL in strikeouts with 117. Way to go Mark!.. Three of the top four in reliever appearences are all Yankees - I think that is a reflection of how badly their starters have been and also a warning sign that the bullpen may break down in September... If you had just a single shut-out in the AL this year - then you would be tied for second place in the category. Shut outs are becoming a thing of the past. There were almost more players with parasites this year than pitchers with shut-outs in the American League...
Tejada vs. A-Rod

In a way - A-Rod's move to third base may have saved him from the reality that he'd be the second best shortstop in the American League this year. Take a look at the stats this year:

A-Rod: .283 BA / .370 OBP / .521 SLG / 83 Runs / 30 HR / 73 RBI

Tejada: .314 BA / .365 OBP / .532 SLG / 77 Runs / 23 HR / 108 RBI

One thing to keep in mind is that Tejada thrives under pressure. This season he has hit .320 with RISP and .381 with RISP and 2 outs! A-Rod is hitting just .213 this year with RISP and a Pokey Reese like .135 with RISP with 2 outs.
Lima Time!

Jose Lima pitched 8 strong innings but wasn't invovled in a decision yesterday. The Braves only managed 2 guns - oops I mean runs - in their 3-2 loss to the Dodgers.


Miscellaneous Baseball Thoughts

Yesterday was Todd Helton's birthday - he turned 31. One thing I didn't realize about Helton is the fact that he is the active leader in slugging percentage in MLB and 4th all-time with his .616 career slugging percentage. That's better than Barry Bonds - who is second among active players and 6th all-time with his .608 slugging percentage. Now this in no way indicates that Helton is a better slugger than Bonds because Helton has the "Coors Field Effect" working for him for half his games played but I do think it indicates how great Helton has been and how he is pretty much overlooked when anyone speaks of the best players in the game... 66-years ago yesterday - Lou Gehrig hit the last of his record 23 grand slams and yesterday Manny Ramirez hit his career 16th grand slam. I think Manny has a shot at that record... 57-years ago today - the first Little League World Series was held at Williamsport, PA... I have to hand it to Ichiro. He easily could have taken yesterday off after getting beaned on Wednesday but instead he goes out and gets three hits. This guy needs a nickname like The Samuri or something... I really thought that moving to Texas would help Alfonso Soriano but even though he should match last year's HR and RBI output - his slugging percentage is down 44 points. I was sure his slugging would have gone up with him playing half his games in Arlington... Why is it that Larry Bowa still has a job?... BTW - Todd Helton hit his 27th HR of the season on his birthday... I'm starting to wonder if the Twins' Joe Mauer is going to be a JD Drew type player - lots of potential but always hurt...
Coalition of the Willing Medal Count - Day 8

Here's a daily tracking of how the Coalition of the Willing does against the rest of the world:

Coalition of the Willing - 72 Gold, 62 Silver, 65 Bronze

The "Rest" of the World - 50 Gold, 60 Silver, 70 Bronze

Coalition of the Willing - 199 medals (53% of all medals)

The "Rest" of the World - 180 medals (47% of all medals)

Couple of extra notes for today:

The "Coalition of the Willing" Nations make up just 15% of the nations participating in the Olympic Games

Communist Countries such as China, Cuba and North Korea have won 49 medals so far - that represents 27% of the medals won by the "Rest" of the world.



Friday, August 20, 2004

Heh Heh - Pretty Funny Joke Making the Rounds

George W. Bush and John Kerry somehow ended up at the same barbershop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.

The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Kerry in his chair reached for the aftershave. Kerry was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Theresa will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse."

The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?"

Bush replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
VDH Friday

Today Victor Davis Hanson examines the proposed pull-out of US troops from Europe. One thing had me puzzled though - he mentioned what the French nukes mean in the scheme of things but did not discuss where the English nukes play in the scheme of things.

SportsCenter Home Run Calls

If I ever sat behind an anchor desk at SportCenter - I would try to make my home run calls something memorable. Something like:

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, homeplate to UPPER DECK! Jesus Christ did he get all of that one!" [Although the religious in the audience may object]

Maybe something stolen from one of those signs people post everywhere like, "[fill in player name] says 'lose weight fast - ask me how!'" [Sure it makes no sense but Craig Kilborn parlayed "Krackatoa east of Java" into a late night TV gig]

Maybe a different bumper sticker - "[fill in player name] says 'make money from home - ask me how!'" [Money from home - get it? Home plate? Money? Keep trying to find a good one you say?]

The call I would really like to use is to simply yell "MONKEY!" but Howard Cosell killed the chances of ever using that one. I actually got "MONKEY!" from the casino. I've been at a number of tables where an Asian guy would yell it at the Blackjack dealer to get them to bust. "MONKEY!" They yell it the way a Caddyshack fan would yell "NOONAN!" My friends and I use it all the time now.

Ah well - I guess there is a reason I don't anchor SportsCenter. I'll keep trying to find my signature call. Till then - "MONKEY!"
Coalition of the Willing Medal Count - Day 7

Here's a daily tracking of how the Coalition of the Willing does against the rest of the world:

Coalition of the Willing - 55 Gold, 55 Silver, 51 Bronze

The "Rest" of the World - 37 Gold, 37 Silver, 54 Bronze

Coalition of the Willing - 161 medals (56% of all medals)

The "Rest" of the World - 128 medals (44% of all medals)

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Presidential Odds

For the longest time Bush and Kerry were dead even at -$120 (bet $120 to win $100 with $20 vig going to the house) but now the odds have shifted back to make Bush the favorite.

When I first started tracking these odds - Bush was a pretty heavy favorite (about -$150 to plus $110 for Kerry). As the DNC approached - the odds began to shrink until they drew dead-even. They stayed that way for about a month but now Bush is again the favorite at -$130 (you have to bet $130 to win $100) vs. Kerry at -$110 (bet $110 to win $100).

My guess is that as the RNC approaches - Bush will become more and more of a favorite and eventually get back to -$150. So my suggestion is if you want Bush to win - bet someone you know who will give you even money. If you think Kerry will win - place your bet with a casino (or offshore bookie) because the payout for you will be greater.
Miscellaneous Baseball Thoughts

OK - the Red Sox have the Yankees lead down to 8 games. If they can get that down to 5 games by the end of August - then the Sox still have a chance of overtaking the Yankees in September (they play 6 head-to-head games in September). Hey - I'm an optimist... It should be noted that Carlos Delgado is hitting exactly his weight - .230... I still say that Hideki Matsui is the MVP of this year's Yankees team... Brett Boone just needs 12 more at bats to kick in his 2005 option that will pay him $9.0 million... Barry Bonds leads the NL in batting with his .358 mark but it is possible that Mark Loretta will get the title because Bonds won't have enough official at bats to qualify for the title because of all of the intentional walks... Todd Helton is very quietly having another fine year. He is hitting .328 with 26 HR and 71 RBI and before you shout "Coors Field" - please note that he is hitting .335 at home and .321 on the road... 53-years ago today - "little person" Eddie Gaedel was sent up to hit for the Browns. Gaedel was walked in hs only at bat giving him a career OBP of 1.000. Two days later in a clear move of discrimination - baseball bans Gaedel and "little people" from the game. A "little person" has not made it back to the majors since (unless you count David Eckstein)...
Coalition of the Willing Medal Count - Day 6

Here's a daily tracking of how the Coalition of the Willing does against the rest of the world:

Coalition of the Willing - 44 Gold, 41 Silver, 43 Bronze

The "Rest" of the World - 28 Gold, 31 Silver, 40 Bronze

Coalition of the Willing - 128 medals (56% of all medals)

The "Rest" of the World - 99 medals (44% of all medals)

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Oh I Think This Story Has Legs

The reaction of veterans to Kerry has been mixed and it is getting cooler by the day. Only problem I see with the information from the AP is that there is no Warham, Massachusetts. I assume it was a typo and it should have been Wareham (which is down the Cape). Tomorrow the typo will probably be fixed (but the description of the veterans will probably also change from "war veterans" to "Republican operatives").

Kerry made his military service and his "band of brothers" the central pillar of his campaign. Now that he is getting scrutiny on his record - he seems to want to call foul (BTW - the scrutiny Kerry is getting is nothing compared to the scrutiny Bush got over his National Guard service. Check out this grilling the White House press gave Bush's press secretary - the same press that has been silent on the Swift Boat Veterans for truth allegations.)
Just Sayin'

When Michael Moore's movie Fahrenheit 9/11 came out - the supporters of the movie would often start any debate on the movie's merits with the question - "Have you seen the movie?" If you hadn't seen the movie then the argument ran to the idea that you were just being closed minded and trying to talk about something you knew nothing about (because how could you criticize a movie you hadn't seen?).

Now there is a book out called Unfit for Command and the very same people who were supporting Michael Moore are condemning this book almost exclusively without having read it. There is a most certain hypocrisy about this - especially within the media.

F9/11 was supposedly a documentary and most major newspapers gave the movie great play. The book Unfit for Command is a non-fiction best seller but you will not hear much about it in any major newspapers.

A search for Unfit for Command on the Boston Globe yields just three hits from the past 30 days. One is an op-ed piece. The second is the story of how vandals hacked both Barnes & Noble and Amazon.com's web sites to alter the cover of the book to read "Fit for Command". The third was a piece by Michael Kranish that alleged that one of the Swift Boat Vets had changed his story (this piece was hotly refuted by the veteran in question who said Kranish knowingly misquote him).

A search on the Boston Globe web site for mentions of Fahrenheit 9/11 for the past 30 days yielded 29 hits (even though the movie has been out for months and is basically "old news" at this point). Most of the hits include articles where the author uses mention of the movie to get his particular political slant across including thoughts of how "Kerry hopes to capitalize on [the] buzz" surrounding the movie.

The hypocrisy of the Globe is incredible.
Coalition of the Willing Medal Count - Day 5

Here's a daily tracking of how the Coalition of the Willing does against the rest of the world:

Coalition of the Willing - 31 Gold, 30 Silver, 31 Bronze

The "Rest" of the World - 23 Gold, 24 Silver, 32 Bronze

Coalition of the Willing - 92 medals (54% of all medals)

The "Rest" of the World - 79 medals (46% of all medals)

Goodfellas discuss the Celtics / Lakers Trade



Jimmy Conway: You know, taking a look at this trade between the Celtics and Lakers - I would have to say Danny Ainge robbed Mitch Kupchak. Ainge gave up Chucky Adkins and Chris Mihm for two guys who create tons of cap room and a draft pick? Please.



Henry Hill: I really haven't been able to get into the NBA. You know why? No good nicknames. Take our crew. We have guys like Jimmy Two Times, who got that nickname because he says everything twice, like, "I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers."

These NBA guys today have names like The Answer? The answer to what? Why the USA won't get a medal at the Olympics? It used to be better. Remember Dominique? He was the Human Highligh Reel. That was a good nickname.

These guys are too worried about marketing. Fans should be allowed to give out the nicknames instead of having them picked by some sneaker company. That way Lamar Odom could be "Cheech". That mook Doug Christie from the Kings would be "Whipped". Kobe's new nickname would be "Room Service". Oh and Rick Fox - he would be "He Blew It" as in he was married to Vanessa Williams but "he blew it."



Tommy DeVito: You guys are looking at this thing all wrong. That Kupchak guy in LA - he can't operate like us. If he has a problem with a player or their contract - he can't just whack 'em the way we could. No, he has to play all these games. Face it - he didn't want either Rick Fox or Gary Payton because they are too old and over paid.

We whack guys with a gun. He whacked Rick Fox and Gary Payton with a piece of paper that said "You're Traded". Rick Fox would have hung on to his roster spot with the Lakers forever. Same deal with Payton. Now they both "retire" and Kupchak gets their roster spots without any blood on his hands.

Henry Hill: Hey Tommy that's pretty funny.

Tommy DeVito: Yeah, yeah - "I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you?" Henry - that was funny the first time around. Right now I'm getting pretty sick of the old "I make you laugh? I'm here to frickin' amuse you? What am I a clown" bit. Next time you bring it up - I'm gonna go home and get my frickin' shine box and whack you up side the head with it.

Jimmy Conway: Probably my favorite part of this whole deal is now the Celtics get to sign a good paisan like Tom Gugliotta. I can't remember the last time the Celtics had a guy with an Italian name.

Henry Hill: Yeah - now all Gugliotta needs is a good nickname.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Miscellaneous Thoughts

Is it the new ballpark? Last year Javy Lopez hit 43 HR for Atlanta. This year he has just 18 for Baltimore. Last year Rafael Palmeiro had 38 HR for Texas. This year he has just 14 for Baltimore. Maybe they changed something in their workout regime or diet or maybe they stopped taking their suppliments.... Go figure: Bronson Arroyo is 5-9 while Derek Lowe is now 11-10. Arroyo has a 4.13 ERA and Lowe has a 5.26 ERA. Go figure... Count me among those that don't see the big deal in Kirsten Dunst. She's 22 now but I'd bet by the time she is 30 - she'll be looking pretty beat... On this day in 1920 - Ray Chapman of the Indians is killed when he is hit in the head by a pitch from Yankees pitcher Carl Mays. According to Today in Baseball History - this is the only on the field fatality in MLB history... Happy 53rd birthday to Butch Hobson...
Coalition of the Willing Medal Count - Day 4

Here's a daily tracking of how the Coalition of the Willing does against the rest of the world:

Coalition of the Willing - 21 Gold, 20 Silver, 25 Bronze

The "Rest" of the World - 20 Gold, 21 Silver, 20 Bronze

Coalition of the Willing - 66 medals (52% of all medals)

The "Rest" of the World - 61 medals (48% of all medals)

Monday, August 16, 2004

OK - I'll Say It!

This picture from Google is supposed to be of Olympian God Poseidon but it just looks like a Leisure Suit Larry lounging in bed with a sheet coving his BEMHO



(a BEMHO is a "basic early morning hard-on" - not to be confused with a HOFNAR "a hard-on for no apparent reason")
Amy Acuff



Like a cheese cracker!
Olympic Beach Volleyball



So far Olympic beach volleyball and badmitton doubles have been the most enjoyable sports for me to watch (BTW - that's Australian Natalie Cook pictured above).
Twins vs. Indians

This battle may turn out to be the most interesting division race. As it stands now - the Indians are two games back of the Twins with 45 left to play for Minnesota and 43 left to play for Cleveland.

These two teams have ten more games of head-to-head action remaining (including the last three games of the season at Minnesota). Of the Twins remaining games - 71% are against teams with above .500 records. Of Cleveland's remaining 43 games - 65% are against above .500 teams. The Indians thus have a slight edge in terms of strength of schedule but what is clear is that both teams will probably be bloodied in the remaining weeks of the season and whoever comes in second will probably not be in the hunt for the Wild Card.
Coalition of the Willing Medal Count - Day 3

Here's a daily tracking of how the Coalition of the Willing does against the rest of the world:

Coalition of the Willing - 16 Gold, 15 Silver, 17 Bronze

The "Rest" of the World - 10 Gold, 11 Silver, 9 Bronze

Coalition of the Willing - 48 medals (62% of all medals)

The "Rest" of the World - 30 medals (38% of all medals)
Top 5 Baseball Players

1. Albert Pujols
2. Barry Bonds
3. Alex Rodriguez
4. Scott Rolen
5. Manny Ramirez

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Coalition of the Willing Medal Count - Day 2

Here's a daily tracking of how the Coalition of the Willing does against the rest of the world:

Coalition of the Willing - 9 Gold, 9 Silver, 12 Bronze

The "Rest" of the World - 6 Gold, 6 Silver, 5 Bronze

Coalition of the Willing - 30 medals (64% of all medals)

The "Rest" of the World - 17 medals (36% of all medals)
Taking the Troops Out of Germany

President Bush will announce Monday that 70,000 troops will be withdrawn from Europe and Asia.

To understand the meaning of such an action and the reasoning behind it - read this Victor Davis Hanson column from March of 2003.

This is another VDH column this time from Septemeber of 2003:
We are not the only ones who know all of this. The German government realizes that these radical changes will prove for the universal good. For all of its election-inspired anti-American rhetoric last year, Germany accepts that the United States is not colonizing Iraq or siphoning off its oil, but rather spending billions of its own money, after a risky military operation, to help the Iraqi people — whether bringing water back to the Marsh Arabs, federalism to the Kurds, or respect and dignity to the Shiites.

Those facts cannot be spun and will not go away: American soldiers stationed in Iraq are no more exploitative than those in Germany, but are instead there to keep the peace and provide security, just as once they saved the Germans from themselves, and then kept the Russian bear out of Munich and Hamburg.

This truth, deep down, the Germans accept, and it explains why, for all of his prevarication, Mr. Schroeder knows that he is on the wrong side of history in his dispute with the United States. He is just now starting to sense that it is the American public, not a neoconservative cabal, that feels something is amiss with the transatlantic relationship, which from trade to defense largely benefited the Europeans.

If Mr. Schroeder is not careful, in a year from now there will be very few American troops in Germany; his socialist government will be faced with spending billions for its own security, with a piqued United States that for once will not so readily come to Germany's aid in its inevitable hour of crisis; Iraq will enjoy a consensual government despite German opposition to the removal of Saddam Hussein; and France will be Berlin's chief and perhaps only major ally. Ditto on a smaller scale for tagalongs like Belgium and Greece.

I added the emphasis on the final paragraph to highlight how well VDH called this one. If only he could also do NFL picks.