Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Waffle House and the Eclipse


Everyone wants to get in on the Eclipse business. Above is a map of the best places to watch the eclipse while eating at a Waffle House. Because - you know - people were clamoring for that information.

The last time I ate at a Waffle House was in Nashville (one of the dots on the map). The waitress took our order and a few minutes later, unbeknownst to us, quit her job mid shift. It was about 20-minutes before anyone came to our table to check on us and ask us again for our order since it was never put in by the now former employee. After we ate the manager, prince of a man, offered us a 10% discount on our meals for our trouble. Did I mention it was the last time I ate at a Waffle House?

In other news, my daughter is going to Nashville to view the eclipse. I think I raised her well enough that I don't have to advise her to view the eclipse from somewhere better than a Waffle House.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Has to be asked - how long before we see one of those Hitler in the bunker videos about Charlottesville?... Heh heh... Had my first Pumpkin Spice beer over the weekend. I know it's still summer and not close to fall yet but I couldn't resist... The word "overmorrow" means the day after tomorrow. What a great word! How come we never use the word overmorrow?... Heh heh... Lobster Cooch would be a good name for a B-52's cover band or a hipster seafood dish... Just a reminder - Dr. Jane Goodall believes in Bigfoot... If they do a Batman re-boot - I hope they cast Christian Bale as a villain. How cool and meta trippy would that be?... Meanwhile the Washington Post is destroying their credibility in sports too... Strip Club Chowder would be a good name for a band (or a porn movie)... Still disappointed that when Burger King and Tim Horton's merged they didn't change the name of all the franchises to Burger Horton's...

Just Like the Jesuits

Every once and a while I get these urges to say certain things just to give myself a chuckle. The latest urge is to randomly say the phrase "Just like the Jesuits" after someone else has said something. For example:

Barack Obama: "It's not surprising, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them"  
Me: (Thrusting my finger in the air for emphasis) "Just like the Jesuits!"

Random guy at McDonald's: "I much prefer the sausage McMuffin over the regular McMuffin."
Me: (Nodding my head in agreement) "Just like the Jesuits."

Anyone hearing the comment will have to wonder what the hell do I mean? Am I crazy? Am I being anti-Catholic in some way? Do the Jesuits really like the sausage McMuffin better? In reality it would just be something I'd be saying for my own enjoyment.

Just like the Jesuits!

Sunday, August 13, 2017

I Drive Your Truck - Lee Brice



I've been familiar with this song for quite a while but what I did not know was:

A: the song was about Army Sergeant 1st Class Jared Monti and his father Paul
B: Jared Monti was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor for his bravery
C: Paul Monti lives in Brocton, Mass
D: Paul Monti wasn't aware the song even existed for 2-years after the song's release

The more you know about the song the more poignant it becomes.

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- Interesting - MDMA (aka Ecstasy) may help eliminate PTSD

- Happy 56th wedding anniversary to el Tiante and his beautiful wife Maria

- The Deflategate Karma Police claim another victim - this time hypocrite Jerry Jones

- Heh heh

- Proof that Outside Magazine is just a shill mag for Big Wheel. Fire was robbed of the award - robbed I tell you!

- If this doesn't make you tear up - I'm not sure I want to know you

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Cops and Dunkin Donuts

I've been meaning to comment on this story about police officers being refused service at a NYC Dunkin Donuts.

The cops are right to boycott the particular Dunkin franchise and the corporate offices are correct in instructing other franchisees not to say a damn thing about the situation because this could quickly turn into Dunkin Donuts' worst nightmare.

The story I've always been told is that in the 1970's Dunkin Donuts started to offer police officers free coffee and donuts because they were always getting robbed. A mostly cash business that was open all sorts of hours was a magnet for junkies and criminals. Then a sudden and increased police presence was a massive deterrent to the idea that a Dunkin's was an easy mark for a quick robbery. Problem solved and all it cost was some coffee and donuts that would have gone bad anyways.

Now if the police start boycotting Dunkin locations because of some douchebag's sense of entitlement - never mind the bad publicity - how soon before the criminals start targeting the locations being boycotted by the police? How quickly do you think cops will be to speed to those locations when the distress calls comes into dispatch?  Once again Dunkin locations become easy marks for quick cash by those desperate for a fix. And how willing would customers feel about going to a place that could be robbed at any time? Revenue and stock prices would plummet.

My guess is all it would take is a couple of pistol whippings before everyone is back to loving seeing the boys in blue pulling up in their squad cars again. Even the entitled douchebags.

Kurt Vonnegut on the Shapes of Stories



Simply fantastic!

Friday, August 11, 2017

Linky Links

Stuff I found interesting or amusing and thought I'd share.

- How can you not love and root for Tim Tebow?

- How can you not love and root for the Marines?

- Cool - one of the nastiest sea creatures to ever live has been named after Motorhead frontman Lemmy

- Heh heh

- Many TV channels can actually make more streaming than in traditional cable packages.

- Holy fuck!

- I really don't want this report to be true. Though it would explain my having to be put on blood pressure medicine.

The Bill Burr Experience

Edit: Reposting this from 2-years ago because I still think it's a good idea

In recent years a new formula has overtaken the world of stand-up comedy. It used to be (and still is the case for people like Jay Leno) that a comedian had an act and the act and jokes varied very little from year to year. Then comedians started developing an hour's worth of material, honing that material on the road and finally culminating in a taped hour (or so) special. After the special was done the comedian would basically retire the material and start work on a new hour's worth of jokes and stories. Let's call this the Louis CK Formula.

Keeping things new and fresh is absolutely the way to go for people like Louis CK, Jim Gaffigan, and other top comics. However, it almost seems a waste that after the specials are done the material only lives on in DVD sales, on Netflix or HBO Go or in YouTube clips. Here's my idea to fix that and we'll use Bill Burr as an excellent example.

Bill has two great recent specials - You People are All the Same  (2012) and Let It Go (2010). He could tighten the material to about 45 minutes of each by getting rid of anything current events related or stuff that didn't work as well as hoped. Then he could hire actors who looked like him (scrawny, sickly looking red heads) who would do the material. One would open with 45 minutes from Let It Go, then a 15 minute intermission followed by second guy doing 45 minutes from You People are All the Same. Curtain call, both actors take bows and then head off to the next city.

I'd go to see something like that. Bill Burr owns the rights to his own material and this would be a way of both making money off past labors and giving people an excellent entertainment option. Think of it this way - if AC/DC only played new songs in concert people would flock to AC/DC cover bands to hear the old songs.

Call it the Bill Burr Experience and let's get the show on the road. Release the Kracken!